Glad you found the humor in this! It’s tough because it’s a such a case by case basis. Generally, I’ve found those of us with disabilities would rather people be direct than patronizing. As long as you’re friendly and respectful, you should be ok. Also remember that someone’s disability doesn’t make them immune to also being an asshole. If someone bites your head off for respectfully asking a question, that’s on them, not you. Thanks for reading!